billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
