Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
