it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just cropdusted the office
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
