not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
