So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
