I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
