haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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