You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
