you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
