This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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