well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
