So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
