i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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