this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
