I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
