dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
