where does the pee come out of this thing
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
