You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
