So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
