I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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