U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
