God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
