I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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