u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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