The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
