happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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