wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
