if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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