i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
