even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
