Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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