She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
