I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
