Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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