can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
