just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
