my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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