You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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