he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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