it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
