my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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