I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
