It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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