It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I look better un-naked...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
