Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
