Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
