There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
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