dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
