You're so nebulous sometimes
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
