He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
