I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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